on the brink of saddles

reading lolita with my breakfast egg and cup of coffee, swathed in my uniform loose winter gap-ad outfit, i came to realize i don't want to do anything in the fashion industry. i want to write. or make films. i don't want to work on a fashion magazine. nothing. i want to do journalism or stories or films. something. i can appreciate fashion more if i'm not a part of it; and i don't mean that in the depressive way. it's just hard to make an impression and i can still enjoy it and not have my life revolve around it. i want try something more rather than being a part of a million other people in new york trying to do the same thing.

i feel so happy.