paper people

2009-05-07T15:37:00.003-04:00

whatever this morning i was late and listened to winters love, cried, the purple bottle, cried more, the softest voice, calmed down, water curses, mouthed the words, listened to mouth wooed her and then winters love on the way to school then walked in listening to the purple bottle and listened to that whilst signing in and smiled at those women and the song was going a minute before i walked into biology

i'm going to start a new blog later BYE

peut-etre

2009-05-04T22:14:00.001-04:00

despite the credit i've built up i already want to start a new blog :c sorry paper people but the time just might be here.

winters love

2009-05-02T14:12:00.002-04:00

i love this light in winter time
the frost cakes in the carpet
in winter time we'll have our ways
tombstones the mean belong in
no falls snowfalls that ruin my day
it's masked up from the street wire
and winters glow where could she be
she's warm underneath my pocket
just a calm and modern day
in early, early morning
rush to her, and rush to him,
am I a better person?
even in the whole take on
the loss is better said
i pulled the boy out of above
she made that boy a man
animal collective

betwixt

2009-04-29T17:52:00.007-04:00

A whole load of B today. B is not a person. It is a letter. In the alphabet.

I can see now that it is rather quite the skill to keep a journal.

It requires just as much time and love and care as anything living.

I shall not stop, never

Just remember, dear companion, that the best thing we can do is keep trying. You needn't give up.

We can all appreciate you trying, regardless:

see?

"I can see a blue jay, a red cardinal and a whole lot of doves all in one yard."

"See it's a better world when everything gets along."

mmmm

2009-04-26T23:22:00.001-04:00

i hate clutter

spirit they've vanished

2009-04-22T00:18:00.006-04:00

"It was about this guy trying to be remembered and I realized that on more than one account close friends of mine have had troubles with wanting to be remembered. Why do you think that is, people wanting to be remembered?"

only m would be asking me this at midnight

i almost cried but i didn't.

take a few cold breaths lock your spirit in a bottle, plug that with some cork and twine and send it to sea when you stop existing. because then you'll exist really still,

you just caught a different course. after life may not be real but you can still continue without having a shadow.

just look at peter pan.

why would you want to be forgotten? it's a sad thought, even if m says you're gone mentally and wouldn't ever know.

they're just friendly mysteries peeping up and out like dandelions in a summer yard.

wishing you a good sleep and a good morrow ~

no time or day

2009-04-21T00:44:00.004-04:00

a good day.
sitting on wool, napping for the longest time to a soundtrack of pitter pattering rain. it was gentle, like the rain in the Bambi movie, and that soft song, also to the sounds of beatrix clicking around things in her bunny home.
"Why is good night associated with sleep and goodbye?"
i spoke with timothy tonight! like every other acquaintance in this place she is t from now on, but for the first time i wanted to say her name because it is special. she is very kind, and mirrored!

sail away.
P.S. post script
p was right. we're all just playing connect 4.

p.s. post script}

2009-04-19T20:47:00.013-04:00

children time is up. school starts tomorrow. i am so excited to see everyone that i have missed. so many angry and upset that there is work to be done tomorrow i was frustrated at first too (thanks c) but i want to get up on time and give a thousand and two hugs and sea after art class. mmmm so much nothing to do which i'm so happy for i can just wait for when i am tired and need to sleep without worries. but enjoy your worries you may never have them again right?

mmmm wind mmmm miss potter. i was going to mail l's packet of stardust (aka penpal letter) a few days ago but i kept forgetting because it was always too late. time running out like turning off the water.

baths are so nice. mmmm warmth! ahhh good country!

the tree outside my window is starting to spread its fingers again tiny spring green (sky blue lemonade emily lime devereaux green mmmm m) baby leaf houses are coming coming coming and not stopping.

what if i lived in a boat named "lost" and was at sea? that'd be redundant. that'd be redundant.

i'd rather have been on breezand.

mmmm open sea. any kind of travel. mmmm that.

tea spilt today. today spilt tea. spilt tea today. today, tea spilt. tea today spilt.

i've taken to scrambling sentences even when i'm just talking to someone i'll think of how what they said can be warped.

mmmm elvis costello's voice and glasses and suits just a bit too small mmmm c.

cosmic questions pull a rabbit out of a hat i feel infinite chipped black twisted leather cracked temple "engulf my chin" colors neatly lined up trees like lace above me honest writing no writing dripping red smiles one eyed emoolie sleepless messages one by one summer has begun wrink wrink wrinkly rough prickly skin poe johns f s cummings beatrix being.

try being for a while it's nice because you stop caring

but in a good way

so much worry so impatient so many burdens that aren't my own i love to listen i love to learn i love run on sentences. memories bottled up.

mmmm!

"all that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream"

be tall stretch up write up write tall chin up chin swallowed struggle to light that wood.

"i started playing the game in like the game"

play the game dream that dream do something anything you want because you can

"Emily if you were a mythical creature what would you be?"

an ordinary starling bird or any old rabbit or emily devereaux is good enough for me to be

"you can't always get what you want"

but you can try

"bag of flour with antlers, skateboarding"

learn something new say something new do something new but it can be old if you want. old things are good and kind and honest and loveable but buy something new and give it a ride because in 1 2 10 20 50 100 years it will be old and full of memories good and bad. it will, like everything, have a story.

mmmm realizations! quotes!

never never land,

if you ever do Me an anonymous favour;

never

ever

stop

existing

dear girl in photo: i know it is a lot to handle in one sitting but please try to do your best it was such a long eventful endearing beautiful memorable bottled up evening, encapsulated into the night woven into the stars and your constellations forever to swirl up and be a part of the steam from your hot hair your hot coffee, but the sun it rises it is rising now get up get up get up and see it before it goes away forever!!!!!!!!!!

edit: m just said "mmmm" in his last text

water curses / animal collective (i love to sing along with this one. so there, h)

{

2009-04-19T14:02:00.003-04:00

my rabbit is beatrix. she hops around and doesn't mind when i play music.
get under those sheets with some hot tea.

the python / tickley feather

i can't

2009-04-12T16:08:00.007-04:00

i'm going to spend the rest of the day on important letters and of course drawing p's house, how can i deny a request like that?
cats hear the sounds of strings. if i'm untangling a necklace or my headphones, kitty comes running. she's purring and stepping on me with cold paws. get some socks. but p likes my room the most, probably because of the yellow.
i'm impatient with everything except untangling. i'm good at that. i can stand there for minutes untangling something without flinching, and i won't stop until the air is clear.
why do you think that is? i miss that question. come back to me.
the song coney island by good old war is extremely pleasant and enjoyable, i love it dearly. only acoustic, though.
the other thing: i realized how much i love todd selby. i want to marry him. i mean really, how does he know that the only thing i love more than old shoes and red plums is digging through people's things? his ideas are brilliant, the Selby always cheers me up-
they're just too wonderful to resist.
i emailed marc johns a few weeks ago and told him everything and he was really nice! then i emailed todd selby and sent him a poem by dallas clayton, about homes. i thought he would like it. he did!
doing that made me feel like oskar schell, but only a while after. it's a good feeling. i want to marry him too.

please
please buy me a rabbit.

chimerical

2009-04-10T20:47:00.004-04:00

i've been a bit slippery, recently. i do apologize for that. path has been quite rainy,

making it difficult to walk in such frail shoes. but how i love them.

i discovered an old book which is beautiful in its own fictional way,

so old with butter coloured pages. the smell of it makes me smile. burnt edges, cream spine, pinched glue~

books, like people, develop a smell of their own too. it's a comforting thought, really.

fell asleep past 7.30 and woke up at half past midnight, this was yesterday.

i was day-clothed and everything, right on top of the horses surrounded by bunnies, carrying me through my dreams but like usual,

they've been forgotten. i ought to write them down, though i am wicked. when i awoke, i was in my frail shoes, seahorse, and even my feather.

needless to say, we all survived.

my my, hey hey

2009-04-08T23:02:00.001-04:00

well.

mushroom cap

2009-04-08T15:53:00.004-04:00

today was the very best in a simple satisfying way, like light tea. i wore my favorite tshirt which is very kind

and brought my cup right into school with me, hot tea and all.

quiet ladybug whispers from k who is a cutie and said the nicest things to me

and a note from m.h. and a hug from the other m who waited after my art class, he said his first day at new school was very good and i was happy. i love the feeling of being happy for someone else being happy.

and a wonderful note from c as well, a prompt hair ruffling from the other one

"it makes your day though" so i ruffled back in response.

gave b a birthday wish. doing it again. have the happiest birthday, b. you're talented and i built that house just for you. enjoy it and your gardens!

"and when i awoke in my flat, a mushroom had grown right out of the carpet."

for emily, whenever i may find her (live)

2009-04-06T23:22:00.006-04:00

everyone wrote so much today. i said so much to everyone. i said the most i have ever said. every time someone said happy birthday i made sure i said thank you in the most personalized way according to person. i want people to know they are not forgotten and that i appreciate them and i want them to learn to appreciate me too, and if they don't then that's okay maybe they will someday and i can help that and so can you.

i said a lot to n (not the usual n) and c and p and especially nothing to n (the usual n). i spoke briefly with h and gave her a cigarette note. i think i may have upset c. c, if you're reading this, which you aren't, i'm sorry but the sun it rises. really. i wasn't kidding.

and h i'm not kidding.

to my entire alphabet: i am never kidding. unless i say i am kidding don't ever think i'm kidding. why would i kid why would i act like a kid all the time on purpose? what i learned if i learned anything is that you should take into consideration everything everyone says. because believe it or not they said it for a reason.

what is the point of talking to me if you aren't going to say anything? you were so happy. but that's okay. it's all fine. i'm fine! i'm just a little sleepy and hungry and sad and i feel unfulfilled but that's okay because i'm still young i am fifteen fresh years today. my new year my new life it starts tomorrow and everything i do and say will effect the entire next year it is important the new year doesn't start january first it starts on your birthday my lovely.

and you are lovely.

"i can't let this go i am on my way"

i'm sorry, m, that i made you walk so far. i didn't mean to!

the day was extremely disappointing. it's my birthday and i'm okay with it being the way it is. feeling sad can be thought of as selfish but i'm sorry i'm a person. i am living and breathing so are you don't forget that. should i change my facebook name to Peter Rabbit Devereaux? that nickname became so important.

"invisible birds" that's what we are we are all invisible birds. taking flight is just different but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

i just noticed a red owl on a card i got. hear that p?

i think appreciation started with d and how he wrote that message to everyone that he didn't even remember when i brought it up to him one thousand and two years ago. "fiff" but he wrote it and i think that's where it started, it was new i had never seen anything like that before.

it's the best we can do is appreciate.

i don't understand mean people. why are they so mean? just be nice. what is the excuse for being mean? i really just can't see any appeal in it. it's not as if it is fun or anything.

i don't know what is more sad:

the fact that i don't remember perks of being a wallflower ever being so sad,

or the fact that it is so sad now.

thank you skies: for the rain. standing under that tree and i looked up

i looked up through the spaces in your needles and i could see that radioactive sky and it was all there but there were bits missing and the rain missed me except those few that got me.

scarf: thank you for protecting my head this morning. you kept me more dry and alive than you realize.

instrument: thank you for cooperating when i spent much of your ink on penning my favorite songs in a row nonstop onto this huge piece of paper that will be filled with infinity and you.

dad: thanks for saying "gimme some fries! TREE!" when teaching me that good driving habits were important. d, that is what my dad did today.

i have the most exciting thing in my lap. it makes me happy. it is a glimmer of something.

"i'll go find something to.. to.. i don't know. i'll go find something."

i want to watch Miss Potter and hug my old raggedy stuffed peter rabbit from a thousand and twenty three years ago and draw words and write faces and get tangled in grass because it is so tall, and then laugh because i got tangled in grass because who gets tangled in grass? and wrap up in a blanket or a person or my own thoughts and watch the sun go down and come up again over water

because the sun, it rises.

"glasses"

2009-04-05T22:37:00.003-04:00

i did nearly nothing but draw and read this weekend. lots of tea,

today, i walked with m to a nice field and we did a lot of walking and talking and four leaf clover and bananas, evolution, inward quotes and ONE HANDED SOMERSALT little legs

summer salts. that sounds so lovely.

i spoke with h tonight and i hope she can come to the city with n and i this saturday. it would be lovely, especially taking the train. h says i should throw a party, as i would be a good host. that was a nice thing to hear.

i told her, recently all i have wanted is to grow older and live

in a too small apartment and buy tons of wine and cheese and strawberries

and have close friends and turn out the lights and use candles.

thinking of: a useful, amusing yet absentminded hobby. ie, embroidery. used to do that. why did i stop?

why do people ever stop? curious

warm breath of air today, it was beautiful

golden glow moon, m pointed out orion's belt for me.

goodnight mouse, goodnight house

lendemain

2009-04-04T23:44:00.003-04:00

i started a new journal tonight which i felt was necessary. writing in hand, in pencil and drawing made me feel good. i made sure to wear down the pencil first. too sharp is not for me.
i read poetry, drew faces all day.
also, i've been consuming very much butter with jam on bread. so sweet and kind. days are kind, daze are kind.
i realized a few moments ago how much i love the phrase
"under the covers".

"wasting days is the worst you can do."

quite right. although technically, we are alive. and being alive

well that isn't a waste.

dallas clayton

2009-04-04T14:18:00.002-04:00

service

You should leave your house today
with an empty garbage bag
and some walking shoes
and start off toward no where at all.
On the way you should pick up every piece of trash you find
that hasn’t already been claimed
by a smaller animal
and stuff it into your bag.

You should see how far you make it
before your bag is full,
and once it is
you should turn around and walk back.

On the way back
you should think about your neighbors
and how they aren’t bad people
and don’t consider themselves filthy
But how they managed to waste so much
and leave it all out here
for you to carry home.

When you get home
you should put the bag on your kitchen counter
and draw a face on it with a magic marker
and give it a nameand take a picture of it
and make it some tea.

While you drink the teayou should talk to it,
and tell it a secret that you’ve never told anyone before.
After you’re done you should stuff it into a trash can
and gently close the lid
and put it out on the curb for collection.

After that, you should go lay down
and close your eyes
and think about yourself
and how you aren’t a bad person
and don’t consider yourself filthy
and how nice it is to go for a walk
and clear your head
on a beautiful day like today.

cee owl hoot

2009-04-03T20:35:00.006-04:00

confusion, failure, time: juice, test, grandfather clock

life, belief: half glass of water, half glass of wine

every relationship: fleet of sailboats (also: knit sweaters)

your life: old shoes

sky, stars, universe: sea, younail & i, blank parchment

nature: beauty

beauty: nature

math: math

maps & atlases and neutral milk hotel, now

pete

2009-04-03T18:46:00.003-04:00

spanish bands use all the echo
persian kitties better stay out of the train
glad you brought your food on
eat it like it's gonna get a way
this coffee sure is getting colder
the seats are getting fewer
space is losing place
you could win a rabbit
you could blow an island through the rib
rabbit or a habit?
habit or a rib?

animal collective

waving flags

2009-04-03T17:37:00.006-04:00

i looked out the window, first at the changing sea and then a bird flitting across the yard to a limb. i watched the new grass coming.

i left my chamber and went into another, looking out that window to the west. i watched fat little robins tweet at each other and bigger starlings eating bird seed from the feeders in the trees. so many trees which i love. i was watching the world and trying to find the small things. everything is small here but the smallest ones are the best parts.

but the place you are. when you see it and it makes you feel small and this place, big, it at least gives me a sensation of "i can't wait to see the rest of you. in your entirety."

i want to meet the world and breathe every air there is.

sit in trees and take pictures of birds, watch the sky change every day and be a part of the way things are without interference to see how nice it is.

british sea power and kimya dawson, for now.

fumble

2009-04-01T17:31:00.013-04:00

5:37

"I like how you never forget to mention."

thanks the most for noticing.

Don't ever forget anything. That's a favor I, P.S. Devereaux, am asking you. What I'm trying to do is actually very listen to what I'm reading and to what people say. Remember that we want people to appreciate our words as much as they want us to appreciate theirs.

I spoke with p last night and fell asleep before her next message which made me feel awful. I knew i was going to fall asleep I kept it pointed up so the light would beam like a lighthouse and I could see through my eyelids. Guess not.

The best you can do is to just let things be. Impatience doesn't help anyone just keep yourself occupied read a book learn something you want to learn go for a walk. as much as you want to pull the tab and release the hook you have to let go anyway. as much as you want to pull it you can't.

"keep on keeping on" b has been saying this for as long as i can remember. i don't know even where he got it. like everything it came from somewhere.

quite a full day so empty so full so both so nothing so everything.

like a balloon. or a ghost.

5:47

6:09

"peace on earth. not going to happen any time.. ever. maybe just my earth." j

6:10

8:12

tonight is a night for simon & garfunkel. they are the best.

i'm going to be writing soon. i haven't done this in a little while.

i hope it's like bike riding. i don't know why i'm so scared. it's not that i'm scared, i just don't know what will happen. i want to see.

i want to see everything and every you, and i want you to know that i want you to see me as well. wishing well wishing you well.

and now a word from our sponsor!

to young poets:

stop rhyming. you have talent, just don't feel so obliged to rhyme!!

8:17

filling.

9:35

i wrote half a page.

my parents reminded me my birthday was this monday. i forgot. they're asking me what i want.

but i don't really want anything.

9:35

10:48

drew purple warrior marks on hands i feel like i don't know what.

a real bunny skin soft from bath water. open window half the lights out.

a sentence or two more, waking up at five tomorrow.

good-night!

10:50

---

10:57

2009-03-31T22:53:00.003-04:00

i just feel so incredibly sad right now.
sorrow and extremely empty.

i'm choking.

in a basket

2009-03-31T22:38:00.004-04:00

i wrote two notes one for h one for c. both their first notes from pete. i hope they enjoy all that glorious beautiful swelling red.

my birthday is on monday. my mom told me and i didn't even remember. my dad told me "ems, i know just what to get you. i won't tell you but i know just what to get you."

this excites me greatly. time for my late night alone time in the dark on the floor nibble. with dust and moonlight and open windows and frightened arm hair and flakes of skin to keep me company.

i'm writing a novel.

i loved that bike so much.

m is for moneys

2009-03-31T19:17:00.001-04:00

by m

thank you!

blue to black

2009-03-29T23:48:00.004-04:00

woke up so late today. i dyed m's hair he's not green anymore. then sitting in a pocket picking

clover looking for four leafed ones

and collecting water droplet diamonds and pulling apart twigs and talking about bad melons.

dad got me blueberries.

edit: i just watched the where the wild things are trailer and started to tear.

i need mouthwater.

things desired

2009-03-28T23:43:00.009-04:00

What do I wish?
a good evening. an actual living breathing kind starry wine warm bare bear evening. people say good evening. well what if i was having a bad evening? would it make me feel better, or worse?
it would depend on whether it was a greeting or a goodbye.

{ how are you even supposed to say to someone "Goodbye. But just for a LITTLE WHILE."
old thin glass with a hole in the middle. }

then again, they're saying that in hopes that i will have a good evening.
which is good enough for me.

"well i'm on my way, i don't know where i'm going,
i'm on my way, i'm taking my time-
but i don't know where."

P.S.: i look at people and see the differences but when i study faces, i can't pick out distinctly what is different between people. everything really is beautiful when you look at it. it just takes a good moment to really appreciate something, and then it's like liquid gold in a jar.

the road not taken

2009-03-28T15:34:00.001-04:00

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Men Playing Cards

2009-03-28T11:49:00.007-04:00

do i want to be home right where i am now,
or do i want to leave and make my home where i go?
right now
a traincar with someone or sometwo or somethree
sounds pretty contenting to me.

eyelashes

2009-03-26T22:48:00.006-04:00

i lost p's note and i feel the worst about that because her notes every note from anyone at all is precious handwriting handrawing handhanding penning the best ever needs to be kept safe and sound i hope wherever small baby note is, it is safe and warm in bed with milk pockets and beatrix potter.
i want everyone to call me pete it would be so nice. i'd rather be peter than emily, more than even anything else. many icknames.
i'm a bunny and a baby i'm not a log. says everyone else.
m's bearded man and plaid and warmth were the kindest. i didn't get to see mr. berner which made me extremely sad and incredibly disappointed. then blue had to be so kind and it made me feel very unworthy of anyone's kindness because i don't handle it well enough.
what can i do? can i hug them around the waist and say thank you so much and give them teabags and wristbones and wishbones and tell them everything will be okay again someday somehow somewhere someway? how about somenow!
i feel like lately i don't know how to react properly to kindness.
snap crackle pop
i try to make appreciation apparent because everything counts this is what i'm realizing. the small things count. everything does. but they matter. they are matter and they matter, it all matters. every single bingle thing matters.
i try, and then leaving people out makes me feel even worse that i'm not including everyone it's the worst feeling especially right now - thank you skies for the rain. i liked the cold air crackling skin lifted hair fools rush in the wind is a breath of timelessness.
"i have this for you"
i wrote "something unknown is doing we don't know what, that is what our knowledge amounts to" with orange sharpie right under the stage at the middle school. i hope they all see it and it stays there forever but they won't and it won't.
i need to embrace the end of things and stop being so nostalgic - but i have my look on the brightside bracelets to take care of,
and that is not taking proper care of those two.
i wrote a serious paper on mythology this essay was the only one that we could be the least bit creative and it's now that i decide to write something serious and stupid whereas on other essays i totally do whatever i want. i fell out of a chair and the teacher asked several times if i was alright and i felt the worst of the worst and i am the worst.
i bathed and then cried, i cry you cry he cries she cries the world cries. nope sorry. i'm alone on this and that's okay!
i talked about rainbows and in rainbows and blueberries and dinering and camping and just lovely things as usual.
made short films on my phone, for n
and took a disposable camera picture of all the rolling heads at lunch watching watching watching the middle aisle it was such a sea i'm glad i caught it i stole a painted paper fan on the floor of the middle school,
nameless homeless faceless but not identity less.
but not forgotten!!

"here's to sugar on the strawberries!"
-burt lancaster, the swimmer

crackle

2009-03-25T23:22:00.007-04:00

all i had was gouache, but i wanted to make a shirt.
so i just used red pen and it worked.
it's just triangles and The Books anyway.
tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow never comes soon enough; sampled cocorosie (such a marvelous name) and enjoyed it. i still feel unfeeling. i want to lay in tall grass like waves around me. do they still know me?
i was sitting reading waiting to go home and i smelled n's hair and chest
i wrote "rich gets richer, poor gets poorer" on my computer. and tried to make art tonight. wrote wrote wrote wrote response notes and am so tired. i'm like a log. all day and day and night into morning to day to dusk to night to dawn untilde i've been rolling through the forest down to your grave,
and i land at the bottom. this is where i am now.
i am a log, i've been sitting and waiting for so long in this forest for something to happen. abelard moves into me during winter for protection, the frog visits, abel leaves.
moss is growing and buzzing fuzzing bumbles fly through the briar brambles around me. the world turns and tuck drinks water from the spurt in the ground. an apple falls. a boy falls.
but i stay
right
there
waiting

rich gets richer, poor gets poorer.

2009-03-25T15:22:00.003-04:00

i recieved an array of notes today from the two separate m's and one from p of course. the female m gave me the tiniest prettiest note i maybe ever recieved, if it were a different object it would be a delicate cake or a small, proud cottage in france.

i wrote p a response note in study hall but didn't see her, so tomorrow she'll get it.

red daze

2009-03-24T23:19:00.002-04:00

today:
-woke up
-showered and read m's texts recieved at three a.m. sometimes i'll get highly philosophical texts from him at times like that.
-coffee, listerine, blurry day though happier (gave p and mx their notes)
-listened to so much by The Books because i'm realizing how much i love them
-running bath water and started dandelion wine sitting in warmth, the pages are waterstained now
-ate a kind dinner with dad twenty minutes later, drank orange juice from equally kind old mug and read chapter one of dandelion wine
-made feather necklace and put on fleet foxes
-said goodnights
today i didn't:
-cry
-learn a foreign language
-get punched in the face
-feel hot or cold but a strange in-between
-feel much at all until school ended.
I AM SO EXCITED TO VISIT MR. BERNER ON THURSDAY THAT I COULD JUMP IN THE AIR LIKE A " " AND CLAP BECAUSE I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!

rabbitry

2009-03-23T22:48:00.006-04:00

i've been writing "hummingbird, just let me die" with the date in fine tip sharpie on my desk in my classes. maybe someone will notice it written in different spots.
i wrote notes for some, along with the longest letter to be sent through the post

the longest letter i ever wrote.
the day was a daze that's all. the four cranes on my wall

i took three down two days ago -

and then there was one.

life in threes. three pages, three conversations, three cranes, three sugars in my coffee and tea.

a little longing goes away / the books

2009-03-23T22:11:00.004-04:00

yes and no are just distinguished
by distinction, so we choose the in-between.
give up your books and put an end
to your worries. enjoy central park in the spring.
our minds are empty, like we're too young -
to know to smile.
we know to fear what others fear -
is nonsense, right?

the books suggest we set our minds on doing
nothing.
and then nothing's left undone.
everybody's waiting for the go-ahead -
but by then our heads are gone.
our minds are empty, grave as well as
strange. (take! this!)

we know to seek success is
utter nonsense...

the best is to be blank.

no rats

2009-03-22T22:23:00.006-04:00

bluish / animal collective
i want someone to beat me up so badly right now.
who am i
and what am i doing here?

colours

2009-03-22T01:08:00.004-04:00

an eventful day

it's 1.09 now, good night have the best sleep ever tonight and every other night too and wake up feeling warm and cold and wrapped up in good things,

because i hope i do and i hope you do too

now it's 1.45 because i got caught up being nostalgic,

looking at photos of me and of c.

aunt impor

2009-03-20T22:33:00.005-04:00

i drank tea
i was late albeit as peter, not mr. rabbit
i took a disposable camera picture of m playing his ukelele at his locker

i finished extremely loud and incredibly close

i drank tea

i talked to n on the phone - "yeah he's been a vegetarian for a few years now.."

i watched harold and maude

i steamed my skin

i lost my voice

i visited the Selby and cropped interviews to my favorite answers

i listened to cat stevens and grizzly bear

farewell, welfare

nature has no imagination

2009-03-19T23:05:00.003-04:00

not getting swallowed by coats ANYMORE!

finally! it's spring. tigger, Emily, Rousseau, renaissance, folk, paper feathers, awakening lessons, bees -

this will all soon lead into buttercups, Wood, sweaty cheeks, dry fireflies in glass jars, tiny rocks, wild berries, everything aflame.

sleep. no sleep. sleep. no sleep.

for the last four nights and counting - that's from monday, lundi, to now, today, thursday, jeudi - i have missed 11.11 by two minutes, deux minuits. that's 11.13 i've checked the clock. what does this mean? 11.13? i'll write a little about it, maybe. i don't see a place fit to write about this, that is. typewriter - can't. it wouldn't be the same anyway,

unless i was Robbie at his typewriter in the country, struggling and smoking hand rolled cigarettes and laughing.

microsoft word is self - explanitorily a no. think like a horse. cheval.

writing by hand.

i would only agree to this if i had old paper and an old pen. all i have is ballpoint and notebooks.

empty notebooks.

fleet as a fox

2009-03-19T18:27:00.000-04:00

the life

2009-03-18T23:09:00.007-04:00

hmm, the lord of the rings. especially in the beginning when frodo's lying against that tree reading, and gandalf comes riding down the road and he hugs him and goes

"it's wonderful to see you, gandalf!"

and gandalf goes,

"how could i miss bilbo's 111th birthday!"

frodo: i don't suppose we may see them again.

samwise gamgee: we may, mr frodo. we may.

frodo: sam, i'm glad you're with me.

i just want to cry. the end of the fellowship is so sad in such an unfinished way.

ladidida

they're the best, really. the bracelets. thanks, m

goodnight.

military

2009-03-16T22:46:00.004-04:00

saturday was barnes and noble for a long time.
grab onto me tightly as if i knew the way
extremely loud and incredibly close
perks of being a wallflower
tree grows in brooklyn

franny and zooey
dandelion wine
dear diary
bye.

and tall grasses wave, they do not know you anymore

2009-03-14T10:51:00.005-04:00

morning is the most honest time of the day. does that make the night the most forgiving? what about the afternoon? i guess we roast.
hmmm, this is worth a think of it.

tiger mountain peasant song / fleet foxes

purple

2009-03-13T22:46:00.004-04:00

abstract art is the same song played in two at separate start-times. a little overlapping never hurt anybody. there's always a match point somewhere.
yesterday was a good photograph that was unintentionally blurred, today the photograph was full of soft bokeh.
n was over, we watched withnail & i. i would have cried had he not been there, never do i cry at films with another person with me. n liked withnail.
i liked i.

gulp of water, tidal wave,
sleeping a good sleep. be good while i'm away.

flying kites

2009-03-11T23:08:00.005-04:00

watched "trip to the moon" c.1902 (lovely),

took a picture of the moon,

spoke with a which was quite nice -

asked my brother to open my window for me because i was too frightened that a spider would fly in.

ellipses make me sad. it's just disregarding something, casting it away as if that piece isn't important. it matters; it matters to me. they give a rushed and worried and scared and just itchy sense.

"i hate itchy everything unless it's tickling"

tonight

was just about right.

ululate

2009-03-11T17:32:00.001-04:00

ragged wood / fleet foxes
my mom bought me a disposable camera, as per request. i haven't used one since i was about eleven. it makes me think of the word "prospect". the whole day i've been thinking of the word "prospect".
these are the best cameras. they're more reliable than any other camera and so delightfully candid. delightfully is the only word i can think of.
random thought: what if we could feel the hair growing out of our skin? it would be like a thousand tiny tickling feathers, or maybe arrows being launched,
or tiny green shoots reaching for light. it's a lovey thought but a eerie one at all the same time.
recieved a ghost - themed note from p. thoughtful. thank you p.
when you really do think of it, maybe we should think of it more often.

disappointment

2009-03-10T22:28:00.008-04:00

this week is turning out to be terrible. this is the third night.

i feel off-kilter. and genuinely identity-less. other days i was thoughtless and kind

now i just don't know what to do.

i am a mountain. i am the ghost - rabbit personified.

i read all of "howl" by allen ginsberg. i plan to write that on sheets of paper,

and keep it with the rest of my favourite poems.

there are not too many.

what if i disappeared? i'd be happier as a real woodland animal.

at least then i would have a place to be. and, a general reason. "you're such a rabbit" - i wish. how do i remember everything? i remember much,

recently.

"how many years can a mountain exist, before it is washed to the sea?"

p.s.: post script

re-reading abel's island / i am a deer by d without hooves.

braided grass

2009-03-09T23:01:00.006-04:00

my days are so blurry, and my nights are so clear
i feel like everything happens at night; conversations that are worth while, and my insides spill all over the place and i get things done,
like these letters that i wrote.
i changed my handwriting again today, was called a bunny by someone new (what did i say) and felt like a ghost
was a ghost. do you sea me?

people like n make me feel greedy. n doesn't ever want anything. how does he do that? he's such a simple boy. i don't know how or why.
i told p i felt greedy, last night i told her.
she said that second chances were the best.
and that she always had room in her heart for anyone - because everyone deserved to be cared about.
ordinarily i would find this sweet but things have been too weird for me to have emotions of my own. strangely enough, right now i have nothing but feelings for everyone around me. i have no problem writing these good folks letters and making them special mixes. and i just want to listen to them. i think that's why i won't tell n anything, because i just don't want to feel greedy anymore.

d: i didn't finish your feathers.
i'm sorry.

not again not again not again once again

2009-03-08T23:20:00.006-04:00

quite alone. feeling quite alone.

should i speak?

i never know when it's right. i'm afraid whoever i'm contemplating is busy, because i don't want to be disappointed if i say hello and they're side-tracked. this happens - with everyone.

i don't like to be disappointed. i hung up two more cranes today. ménage à deux.

it didn't make me feel any special way, i just hung them up.

do you read me? really?

tonight was one of the strangest nights that i can't even write how strange it was.

i don't even know what happened and it was the strangest night of my life.

i feel ghostly and non-existant. sorries aren't in order, however i feel like a whisp who sits on top of cotton and does nothing. just floats around.

an occurance - the other day i listened to all music in a row, without skipping tracks, giving everything a chance

today i gave almost nothing a chance.

i should just,

give up the internet and telephone

and write letters. that way, i'm never disappointed. you can't be disappointed with letters,

because it's a surprise when you recieve one, it's more worth it (it's been built up) and a very pleasant experience.

i should just not use any-internet any-more. but then i'd be even more like a ghost,

no one would see me! do you see me now though?

i feel like my friends would see me more in letters. handwriting is more personal. letters are lengthier than anything on aim. if i could do both would that be contradictory? probably not, this isn't anything.

i always change when i meet people and stay friends with them. why does that happen? that happens all the time. is that a good thing? i suppose,

in some cases - but not in all,

surely. it is much too late but i don't know what i'll do in bed.

it feels like an island now: not a part of anything, my bed is detached from the window. it makes me feel detached from everything. i'll have trouble getting to sleep.

i was listening to deerhoof and holding my phone in my hand waiting for something to happen,

i felt so tired,

but speaking when you're tired is nice, because voices sound ghostly (in a good way, mind you!), and they crackle and are glittery and lovely,

night-time, sleepy voices seem nicer than everyday ones. am i making this up?

a ghost i am. or just a small bunny, running away from the gardener. i'm a tangled thread? i wasn't pulled along by anyone! can i just not tell? i have many questions, who can answer them? i wish you could. you can be the purple in me,

i would talk to you all night. it has to be outside. when the sky - in its biggest form on display -

it makes us feel more hopeful despite our dusty sizes.

hey we got some shoes over here

2009-03-08T14:33:00.003-04:00

most of this was saturday. it was good and i had a good sleep and woke up and my legs didn't even hurt anymore from all that walking! they hurt yesterday though. i left my ipod at noam's (oh deer[hoof]) and we almost fell asleep because all that walking and snakes on a plane and pie eating and i love you mommy can tire people out.
today, so far, i finally made my room not awkwardly set up,
all i need is a good bookshelf,
just a plain tall one like i used to have but then i don't know what happened to it, just like that happens with some things -
i want to go to barnes and noble and read a book in one sitting there,
that's all i've wanted to do recently. i'll probably finish tidying my room and no one is at home,
so i'll find something to do.
maybe!

every glove

2009-03-06T22:05:00.005-05:00

hopefully the weekend will be good.

i will make loads of feathers for everyone,

even you (yes you),

and present the first packet monday. d said "hey pete" and p waved and it made me SO HAPPY, i saw p before that:

a) to present her feathernote to her and

b) waved to her when she in her heart glasses and sitting on the floor.

i recieved a new hello from b

and she is so cute she was all "hello!" in her crackly little voice,

and i saw s and said hi and she was the best, "how are you!"

which i thought was sweet considering we've talked 0 times.

i saw n and waved at the last second and saw C AND and we exchanged exaggerated "WUSSUP SUH"s and high fives,

"your last name has a silent X. THAT'S pretty rad" from him which was nice,

earlier i had seen a and of course gave that one a high five,

i took a poor lad's seat in study hall because some lass took mine,

he seemed O.K. with that though. thanks, lad.

i've read approximately 70 more pages of lolita,

will finish tonight and complete daily drawing before midnight;

been so busy with nothing.

oh, also saw e and r and waved hello; r was his usual charming and e was her usual charming,

i like charming people and being charmed and charm bracelets and lucky charms the cereal,

plan to visit barnes and noble with -insert first letter of your name here- and read a book in one sitting because,

that always seemed nice.

i wish a decent cry would come out.

i ate pei wei,

it was only alright, a bit cold.

a glorious sixty degrees,

i wish i saw the other b more, and was more courageous with a, as i know that one would appreciate it.

i appreciate you

and the seventies, and history class

and watching films with my dad

and sixty degrees of fahrenheit outside,

and being swallowed by coats,

the scene in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, when joel and clementine are under that great quilt and clementine says "don't ever leave me" and admits things, and joel just listens and covers her in kisses (then it just gets so gosh darn sad),

and when people say words like "enjoy" and "adore" in a sentence

this old watch,

and the phylum plantae and singing although i haven't a voice for doing so properly,

and when my hair feels loose, and harmonics and people who can knit. i really like those things. i would spend all day making lists like this rather than lists of things i hate,

and knitting if i could, and taking a polaroid of the sky every day,

and braiding grass,

and reading woody allen's writing, and talking to the people i normally wait to talk to me first,

and writing letters and eating sweets,

and making boxes from paper, and watercoloring printer paper, and admiring the complicated gears in watches, and tim walker's photography and other works for that matter,

and practicing bunny drawing and other nature drawing,

wearing red, purple too because it makes me happy.

wearing socks too. and collecting norwegian sweaters.

and writing simon and garfunkel lyrics on my hand, and just staring at that all day,

and holding your hand and telling you my secrets and my thoughts.

1973

2009-03-06T17:47:00.003-05:00

feather and i

by bradley

2009-03-06T16:59:00.005-05:00

"This would be the worst of all fates. To be alienated by feeling and never know what to do with it. This is what i fear, that the ghosts in my machine will never be understood, and that I will never understand your ghosts, whoever you are, you beautiful robot learning to feel."

small kisses

2009-03-05T22:25:00.005-05:00

spent the evening making paper feathers, most of them are to be for d's packet,
but i can't quite give that to him yet, it's unfinished. all i want to do is make paper feather packets for everyone.
one at a time, peter.

last night i was laying in bed feeling very awake i wanted most to crawl into a cold attick, and write.
two cars in a row passed by and their lights made patterns on my walls,
through my windows and they would coast over the cieling. the stars i strung up were out of reach, they must have been hiding from it, i didn't realize at first. at first i found it kind but after very few moments it became glum. my heart felt water logged, it just grew heavy and it feels heavy now.

i don't quite know,
i don't quite know. to be honest, i may have forgotten.
if i had gotten up and written it down, here it would be.

maybe my stars were sorrowed by the square light as well.

sorry,
regards.

taste

2009-03-05T16:32:00.001-05:00

whisper

2009-03-04T23:36:00.002-05:00

conversation tonight leaves me a bit like a leaf that got eaten around the veins, so those small spaces let some light through during the daytime and you can still see those frail little branches inside.
i wrote a little today.

lights out.

sleepy

2009-03-04T21:24:00.005-05:00

i am a little piece of glitter sitting on the floor. i was one of the bits that got blown away when you were doing crafts. and i can't get up because i'm a piece of glitter, and then the dog runs by and i get swept up.

but then i just settle back onto the floor again.

fox tale

2009-03-04T16:04:00.007-05:00

i played connect the dots with the drips of tea on the counter with a butter knife, then washed them away after a bit,

my favourite wristwatch today! forgot lolita at home which proved for bittersweet free minutes during school - finding it difficult to write. spoke with P, was lovely and she recieved the gold encrusted note i created especially for her. waved to the other one,

forgot many things.

i promise to create a drawing every day, here is today's:

it's a boy,

i'm naming this drawing "Pockets"

good-day!

eating disorder

2009-03-03T20:07:00.002-05:00

i want to look like them every day for the rest of my life.

i think i have this envy backwards.

silhouette

2009-03-02T23:58:00.004-05:00

never do i accomplish the most important. when i'm about to, the opportunity has already left, like a candle being snuffed before bedtime.

i wish i had a tiny chamber with a high little bed next to a window, and a small bedside table, and a bookshelf and floors that creaked because of age, and a drawer below my bed for secrets. and at night i would have a candle, and i could put it out whenever i wanted to.

i can't believe a thing. have i changed since january? sweet-dreams.

recently, finding photos to match my mood rightly has been slightly more of a challenge. this photo i remember finding a long long time ago. a good depiction. rabbits make their way into my life through everyone, some how, some way.

bears

2009-03-02T22:13:00.008-05:00

someone salt
a sweet sea soup
that i could swim in proudly
we might swim like laughing ducks
in your pink glow

( daffy duck - animal collective )

gold to gray

2009-03-02T00:45:00.003-05:00

such a pretty night, the snow falls so steadily and makes me just want to be
secluded in the woods, in a tiny log cabin
with a fireplace and tea
and the sounds of silence.
too many wolf images. make snow angels tomorrow; sweet dreams.

knocking me down

2009-03-01T20:58:00.003-05:00

snow!

peach, plum, pear / joanna newsom

i don't have a lantern to light your way home tonight

2009-03-01T13:26:00.004-05:00

i drew a kitchen, i used to draw everything like this. and socks, and two foxes doing the foxtrot today. yesterday, i drew tiny lines, i stained paper with coffee, unfortunately the color didn't pick up for some reason even on the color setting!

the galaxist / deerhoof

it's supposed to snow ten whole inches tonight and everyone predicts there will be no school tomorrow. if i wake up and see all that snow, and we don't have school, i plan to get up anyway

and take pictures before it all melts away, like it did last time.

beneath the balcony / iron and wine

long haired child / devendra banhart

my old friend

2009-02-28T23:23:00.007-05:00

lovely
i spent the day drawing and went to constance's at five or so, we watched jumanji and i ate corn flakes and drank tea. and we watched old videos we made. then recorded some until her camera died a death.

i feel so clean,
there is supposed to be a Big Snow tomorrow night. this excites me much, i hope for no school. i long to awaken during a blizzard!
this town needs more woodsy areas. not enough fields and real woods.
it would make it all the more lovely, like today.

good night, old you

ho hum

2009-02-28T15:24:00.007-05:00

this was so beautiful. every single piece. the separates that marc always creates are so unique. i really loved the tights, especially the ones with the patch-knees. those ones could be diy easily! the boots were really neat too, so masculine and clunky but they remind me of old handmade native amercian moccasins.

such pretty stripes! this whole collection really made me die. the menswear too, marc's one of the only designers whose menwear i really respect. often, the menswear is boring, but of course it never is here. beautiful corduroys and scarves. and boy do i love scarves. the belts were really nice too, sturdy and just cool, it's what he does best. cool.

do i even need to say anything

2009-02-28T15:14:00.000-05:00

the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog

2009-02-28T12:14:00.003-05:00

wolf like me / TV on the radio
summersong / the decemberists
city people / cibelle

hanna konola does beautiful things.
cool coffee is good, occasionally. i love ink drawing.
iron and wine's cover of "such great heights" is unbearably incredible
have a good day, i tip my hat.

i'm wandering round and round

2009-02-27T19:37:00.003-05:00

london, london / cibelle, featuring devendra banhart
today:
spent history class looking out the window and pressing tiny pieces of paper between my fingernails
got yelled at in french for not wanting to learn, even though i DO want to learn and it's just the teacher who makes it difficult :( at least my test went swimmingly
ate
read sixty five pages of Lolita (thirty yesterday)
saved pretty gold wrapping from chocolate
neglected twitter
used a lot of W today: wind, wrapper, the W's all over my plaid shirt
drew a distinguished cat and rabbit drinking tea in art

i'm going to watch Transsiberian with my dad now
and write later
bye

P.S. that song is so lovely i'm in utter love. please take a listen why dontcha.

i don't do easter

2009-02-27T17:30:00.003-05:00

the other night:

i had a dream that i was at hazel's house and her window was really big and she took off her shoes and walked onto this big cherry blossom tree and started taking pictures, and i said "so that's how you do it" and tried to get on too but i was too scared.

flying paper birds

2009-02-27T15:03:00.006-05:00

the wind, the wind is winding

so ferociously, it's so nice. i feel so tingly.

about to walk / throw me the statue

bird confetti

"By adding an extra layer of my rendered notes into the city itself I created a brief meeting between the two worlds. Thousands of bird species cut out from the New York Times move as a coloured swarm cloud through small alleyways and over the pavement. With New York City as a decor on the background, they map the route of the wind."

what an idea.

yesterdays

2009-02-26T22:19:00.005-05:00

i drew an old man. and i'll show you sometime. okay?

have a good sleep tonight

CLA$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$Y

2009-02-26T19:25:00.002-05:00

nothing to worry about / peter bjorn and john
like
fuck
this song man
THIS SONG
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVniEYCdaoM

shook

2009-02-25T22:16:00.005-05:00

today:

went to school seven periods late,

ate very kind foods at Home.

didn't have satisfactory conversations, again, doubly disappointing.

wrote letters

looked at my miniscule collection of early 20th century stamps

listened to sleep by azure ray and realized what a good song it was

i miss you, you, you, and you. where did you GO? why aren't you here now! shucks.

i love little nemo.

sweet dreams

letters

2009-02-25T21:21:00.003-05:00

i'm writing letters to a lot of good folks.

i'm telling them things i can't tell them. i'm not sending these, i always liked the idea of doing this but never have.

i just don't know what i'll do with them once i'm finished, i don't think i'll ever be though

extravagant

2009-02-25T15:43:00.004-05:00

gold dust

2009-02-24T22:11:00.002-05:00

shortness of breath, i inhale sharply. feel a little sleepy. music is annoying me again, i feel like the cd i recieved has mixed in with my music and tainted the patterns and the "me" of my library, it feels like when you're braiding and you're looking at the little mistakes you made, the small knots and bumps along the way
must go book shopping.
star-gazing
to the city for a good gray day,
here and there and everywhere.
brush my teeth, make some lists, calm myself down, write a little, and go to sleep earlier.
i am not feeling well.
sweet dreams~

car full of books

2009-02-24T20:04:00.006-05:00

today was a no good day, except that i got a NICE HUG from a flannelled ned and drank really good really hot tea when i got home. i made a mix, drew more norwegian sweaters, and had shorter conversations than usual. aim conversations don't compare to real life ones, that goes for everyone.

i'll believe in anything / wolf parade

child star / the unicorns

1: They didn't have airplanes. That wasn't until like 1906.

2: ..1903..

3: 1903.

4: They had gliders.

we've all gone to sleep

2009-02-23T21:10:00.008-05:00

lots of wind today, come to think of it, lots of wind last week too
the wind's nice sometimes, for some reason recently i haven't been cold at all, even when it's cold out-doors
i'm going to make some tea

collection fragments

stuck / grouper

traveling through a sea / grouper

000000000000000

2009-02-22T17:15:00.005-05:00

the weekend is over, friday i watched The Changeling with my dad and ate mcdonald's, i watched bad television and listened to records with noam all yesterday, and today i read to kill a mockingbird for a couple of hours and did " " to my bedroom i just want it to look as empty / cleanmessy as possible

not working

see no evil / television

knit up

2009-02-20T23:44:00.003-05:00

i wore the greatest godliest socks today.
pale blue eyes / the velvet underground

lakes are places

2009-02-18T18:26:00.000-05:00

dinner party

2009-02-17T18:37:00.000-05:00

woody allen
todd selby
sam beam
jackson pollock
juergen teller
queen elizabeth
iekeliene stange
natalia vodianova
diane keaton
truman capote
scout and atticus finch
clementine kruczynski
paul simon
bob dylan
louis armstrong
art spiegelman
the Glass family
J.D. salinger too
sofia coppola
natasha poly, sasha pivovarova, jessica stam, lily donaldson and agyness deyn
edgar allen poe
huckelberry finn
Vampire Weekend, Animal Collective, the Shins
zach braff
kirsten dunst
cate blanchett
vincent van gogh
o. henry
chloe sevigny
dave eggers
spike jonze
danny roberts
sonia rykiel
john galliano
jack skellington
macauly culkin
michel gondry
natalie portman
f. scott fitzgerald
A.A. miln
the real karl lagerfeld
the fake karl lagerfeld
eva ibbotson
william steig
frankenstein and frankenstein's monster
nosferatu
marc jacobs
every artist of "could be me"
gene wilder
abraham lincoln / ben franklin
the roosevelts / kennedys
sylvia plath
erin wasson and peaches geldof for laughs
roald dahl
shel silverstein
barack obama and michelle
wes anderson
art garfunkel
the Velvet Underground, Sigur Ros, the New Pornographers, the Decemberists
gwyneth paltrow
maggie and jake gyllenhaal
jason schwartzman
claude monet
scarlett johanssen
toulouse lautrec
rene magritte
andrew wyeth
john updike
lou doillon, charlotte gainsbourg, and jane birkin
steve warren
mr. berner
chris martin
broken social scene (i am NOT NAMING every fucking member)
bill murray
mark ronson
finally:
max and the wild things
eloise and her grandmother / pug / turtle
toot AND puddle
babar
stuart little
(note: incomplete list)

heart locked in

2009-02-16T23:50:00.000-05:00

i just watched Gran Torino. my dad walked into my room at almost nine and gave it to me, how he acquired it i don't really know.

the film was incredible, the ending was so startling. jamie cullum performed a song at the end which made me exceedingly happy.

a good cry it provided, time for bed~

"life is nothing more than the tiny things you've left behind"

i'm about to close the case!

2009-02-16T19:56:00.000-05:00

i loved it.

andrew: and i like you. so there's that. i guess i have that.

sam: can tap-dance. you wanna see me tap-dance?

andrew: i would love to see you tap-dance.

constellations

2009-02-16T11:41:00.001-05:00

finally a scan!

i made this on annie's bed during toy story. lots of crayons.

can i meet you for coffee?

2009-02-13T23:57:00.000-05:00

i was outside for a quarter of an hour wandering around my yard talking to annie. i spent the evening bleaching and sandpapering these gray jeans i have, watching manhattan, painting my fingernails and toenails a nice dark red, and drinking coffee. dad watched the first half hour or so of manhattan with me but went upstairs as he has a cold.

it's midnight now, my jeans turned out nicely and i completed a lovely drawing during the film. i love woody allen. the weekend will be a good one, dad's also taking me to barnes and noble monday so i can get a new much needed stack of books.

have a happy valentines day ~ sweet dreams

icelandic sweaters are my forte

2009-02-12T21:29:00.000-05:00

i just want to soak in the Blue Lagoon and feel less achey and just be bathed in all that wonderful natural steam.

your hand in mine / explosions in the sky

saeglopur / sigur ros

hahaha

2009-02-12T16:41:00.000-05:00

there are countless bumper stickers on facebook that say:
it's the friends you can call up at four a.m. that matter
but i wonder
how many people know
that marlene dietrich said that.
to be honest i just found out myself. i thought it was funny.

in love

2009-02-12T16:25:00.000-05:00

a rainy night

2009-02-11T23:21:00.000-05:00

honestly this is a more ideal time for me to be getting ready for bed. it's been difficult awakening in the morning before 6.30, i seriously think it might be because i've been going to bed earlier. for some reason a later bedtime is just better for me. probably because i'm so used to it.

my neck is so itchy, my hair is finally feeling like it's growing, which makes me happy but the ends are tickling my neck and spiders are running all around.

i'm finally charging my ipod :') it constantly needs to be updated i'm glad i finally plugged it into itunes and it's synching and everything. i don't spend as much time as i used to into finding newer artists to listen to, recently i've been working on finding more music i like from the same artists. break time.

it's almost half past eleven, nighty night reader and sky and ground and i

the discovery always stuns archaeologists

2009-02-11T22:36:00.000-05:00

i've been drawing all night. i finally finished paige's package, she's been sick the dear so i'm giving her her note and drawing and tea and pencil tomorrow. i'm watching Withnail and I with noam on saturday and spending sunday with my annie, we're making lego cakes.

i have eaten all my gum which makes me feel sad and frivolous. on one hand "oh it's just gum, it's nothing" but on the other gum is a luxury that most teenagers take for granted. not really it's just gum.

tonight i love david shrigley's photographs, clay, lego cakes, my best hot pink marker, white embroidery thread, RIP blue five

tuff luff / the unicorns
holland, 1945 / neutral milk hotel
lemonade / milky wimpshake
snake's got a leg III / sunset rubdown

2009-02-11T18:31:00.000-05:00

finished catcher in the rye.

i remember these songs

2009-02-09T15:42:00.000-05:00

me and julio down by the schoolyard / paul simon

subterranean homesick blues / bob dylan

i watched The Royal Tenenbaums today, this is officially the second time i have seen it. i forgot how incredible it was. i've been eating green apples a lot recently. i guess i like apples again.

Royal: Can i ask you somethin, Henry?

Henry: Okay.

Royal: Are you tryin to steal my woman?

Henry: I beg your pardon?

Royal: You heard me, Coltrane.

Henry: Coltrane?

Royal: ...What?

Henry: Did you just call me Coltrane?

Royal: No.

Henry: You didn't.

Royal: ..No.

drone

2009-02-09T11:16:00.000-05:00

home sick day

rotten ones

2009-02-08T20:39:00.001-05:00

friday was a day, saturday was such a day and sunday was almost a day. the only day part of today was that i found some great photos on the computer and drew a star on my ankle after watching Lick the Star on YouTube which was so bad it's not even anything. and this happened just now:

: have you ever tried original screenwriting?

paige: can't say that i have. have you?

: no, but it seems fun in a challenging sort of way.

paige: you should give it a try.

i'll be your plastic toy

2009-02-08T15:19:00.000-05:00

just like honey / the jesus and mary chain

universal traveler / air

i want to make a bunch of really nice valentines day cards and tape them to random lockers at school, go hot air ballooning, and draw bill murray's face without messing it up. i made my dad a mix yesterday.

so far:

woke up / 4.30: drank water and went back to sleep

woke up / past 11: checked emails and ate rice krispies

showered and dressed

made a bagel and coffee, talked about sigur ros and the Grammys with dad

watched Lost in Translation again

talked briefly to three lovely people

attempted drawing Lost- still

texted annie

call me if you get lost

2009-02-07T23:07:00.000-05:00

what a nice day i had watching Lost in Translation, talking about bill murray / notes and eating cake.

page by page

2009-02-05T21:14:00.000-05:00

i ate grilled cheese and talked to my dad. the grilled cheese wasn't grilled enough so after taking a few bites i put it on the stove again for a few minutes. because grilled cheese is at its best when it has muenster or sharp cheese, and crispy. i talked to paige m in the pm and am convinced she is the best person in the world.

ice-skating tomorrow!

P.S. tea~time now

deathreaux

2009-02-05T15:16:00.000-05:00

everybody's gotta learn sometime / beck

america's boy / broadcast

grounds for divorce / wolf parade

i'm making coffee now. i have math homework, i have to make puppets for history class of 18th century french women, also i'm half way done Catcher in the Rye. now i don't really know if i like it or not. it's indifference but i'm enjoying the book. today a sophomore said the nicest nicest thing to me after gym class! she's always so sweet.

i really need photo frames. and another shelf. but i don't need them, do i? superficiality.

last night i was obsessively looking through the sartorialist because i haven't visited in forever, and realized it's much much more convenient than copenhagen street style.

guilty pleasures

2009-02-04T16:15:00.000-05:00

rocket man by elton john, cream cheese and jelly sandwiches, as told by ginger, spoonfuls of brown sugar, writing in my algebra textbook